Saturday, February 27, 2010


I got an actual, real question to answer in my blog, which is really exciting. I have answered questions before, but of course, they were made up. I feel like a real blogger, now that someone has asked for my knowledge on something, something that only I can clarify for all of you. HG, thank you for recognizing that this particular subject falls into the realm of my expertise, and, ultimately, within my sphere of influence. So let us settle this once and for all, shall we?

I am referring, of course, to the difference between a Cougar and a MILF.

There may be some Urban Dictionary definition of these two terms, but because this is my blog, we are going to abide by the Sugar Snow Dictionary definitions. Thus, they are immutable. So follow along, kids. This could get interesting.

A COUGAR is commonly used to identify A Woman Of A Certain Age (AWOACA), generally a putrifying Over-40, who can only get a younger man by stalking him, using him, and then, presumably, killing him. This is because an AWOACA has nothing to recommend her other than a (possible) high income that can keep the youngster in tattoos and Axe body spray, and, possibly, sexual tricks that youngster can then describe to his friends over $2 PBR's at the Tool Tribute Band show. Susan Sarandon is currently the Poster Cougar. She is rumored to be dating a man 30 years her junior who is her partner in a Ping Pong club in New York. Ping Pong! The things hipsters will do for pussy.

The concept of the Cougar is repugnant to me, because I do not believe that I, or any woman I know, needs to buy a man for something that a Pocket Rocket can do with less drama. Or Clearsil. I will not deny that there might be tricks older women have that a younger man might want. They should. And no matter what we look like, we do have a confidence that comes with being AWOACA, which is more attractive than anything else. But I don't think the vast majority of women want a man she has to ambush and drag back to her lair. Thus, Sugar Snow REJECTS the entire concept of the COUGAR. The gavel has fallen. Moving on.

A MILF, or Mother I'd Like to Fuck, is a term of endearment in the Sugar Snow Dictionary. This is a controversial stance, because women have fought long and hard to be admired for something other than their parts. HOWEVER, in a society in which women are considered overcooked by 35 and burnt by 50,knowing that you can still work it is a very nice thing indeed. And the term MILF does not imply any threat of action; you may WANT to do her, but that's as far as it goes. It has become a common description, like "redhead" or "petite". And it has spawned a whole range of spin-offs of the ILF variety, the DILF (dad), the TILF (teacher) and the somewhat icky GILF, which applies to a grandparent of either sex. I say ick now. We can revisit when I'm 60. Thus, Sugar Snow ACCEPTS the term MILF. Thus, it is so.

And thus a new musical genre is born: MILFrock.


  1. My favorite line was the last one. Very funny!

    Yes, MILF has become part of the public lexicon. And you're right, that's as far as it goes. Once action is taken a MILF moves immediately into the Cougar category.

    I won't even go into my own experience with this. Or maybe this is a new blog post. If I go there, you will surely get props for stirring the pot.

    FYI: I can't remember if you've joined Blog Catalog yet? Or do you care? It's one of the few places I'd actually recommend joining if you want to network a bit and get more people visiting. Just a thought from an overworked, underpaid Stay at Home Dad. "SAHD" And as we know, that doesn't rank very high with the ladies.

  2. Don't discount the SAHD. There are very few crushworthy dads that one sees around every day. My friends and I often lament the pathetic state of dadness at our kids' elementary school.

    I did join, but I haven't done much with. Can you send me a quick tutorial?

    Now I am dying to know your story!

  3. Too long to go into in the comments section.

    Blog Catalog: Maybe start with my profile. Add some of my top friends. Very nice people. And maybe their top friends or something. Maybe participate in the "worthy" discussions, in discussion section. Many are f..N' lame! But some are cool. People will get to know you, like you, etc.

    Or start a discussion based around your post. You choose what the category is. Choose: Shameless Blog Promotion....really! If you start a good discussion people will respond. Like this Cougar vs. MILF one? That would be a great place to start. Make sure you link that particular post, not just your site. Do you know how to do that?

    Your site was one of the sites we gave some props to today. Enjoy! Have a good one.