I can do nothing about the weather, because while we Jews do control pretty much everything else in the entire world, we cannot control the weather. So what you have heard isn't true. Many meteorologists are Jewish, but they DO NOT CONTROL THE WEATHER. If I could, of course I would. Do you think I enjoy the way my hair looks, and has looked, for the last 3 weeks?
And, it appears, I cannot break this lengthening chain of blech. There are some great moments interspersed, some exceptionally great. But here are a few of the things that have happened of late.
1. Car keys are lost on a day my husband goes out of town for a long business trip. And, as it happens, I have practice in a town that my GPS can barely find. So I have to call Enterprise to pick me up. I rent a car. Giant pain. Keys have never been found.
2. Cat brings live chipmunk into the house.
3. I spill Diet Coke all over my computer keyboard and mouse and fry it completely.
(just an aside, all the above happened in ONE DAY.)
4. I got a prank call in Yiddish asking me if I like cock. I swear this is true.
5. Cat leaves a dead rodent of some kind at my door for 5 days straight.
6. Kid deletes ENTIRE bar mitzvah guest list because it is impeding his access to Itunes.
7. Cat gets eaten by a coyote.
Everyone is healthy, yes. We have our health, our relative sanity, people are employed. Of course, OF COURSE, I appreciate everything I have! But come on, these are only some of the things that have befallen Casa de Simone lately. But as my grandmother, or perhaps my dirty prank caller would say, Haken nisht en tscheinik! I am tired of hearing myself, literally and figuratively, tell another cute anecdote about my crappy day. And so I am done bitching about all my bad luck. From now on, all is git. No matter what.