Sunday, January 31, 2010
The Vermin Collection
You know what I would never, ever, in a million years put together? Fashion and taxidermy.
Someone please explain to me HOW IN HOLY HELL someone not only THOUGHT of this but actually MADE it, and ACTUALLY SELLS IT. The picture above, of the dead pigeon wings headband, is the tamest BY FAR of the taxidermy fashions, and I have to say, some of them are downright nauseating. Never in my life have I stood at the Fenway T stop, looked over at one of the many monstrous rat carcasses and thought, "That disgusting rodent, curled in it's fetal death position, would make a lovely change purse." I know I have said, "Why are the rats so fucking huge down here?" I know I have said, " Get out of the way, Drunk Bleacher Guy, I've gotta get on the D line and away from Mrs. Frisby NOW." But I am sure, sure as I am sitting here, that I did not consider that icky carrier of diseases to be the In accessory for Spring.
Apparently, I know nothing at all about fashion.
Beautiful/Decay magazine (one of my faves to read at the dentist's office) says:
It (sic) was created by Reid Peppard, a British taxidermist. Her pieces take animals commonly perceived as vile pests and turns them into fashion items. Peppard says, “…when they become sculptural headpieces, necklaces and cuff-links, the specimens cease to be waste and become objects to behold."
Oh, those crazy Brits! First The Spice Girls, and now this!
Ok, yes, I live in the suburbs, and may not be as hip as I'd like to think. But I do know that wearing a rat head as a tie, pulling your change out a rat's gut or wearing a dead pigeon on your head is a fashion mistake of the greatest kind. Not a forgivable faux pas, like harem pants. Not an ironic statement like wearing an Anarchy t-shirt with a Mr. Rogers cardigan, as my Ohio State heartthrob used to do. No, this is the kind that guarantees that your child will never be invited to another birthday party , and that you will NEVER, EVER be asked to bring ANYTHING to ANY FOOD RELATED EVENT at your child's school. EVER. I cannot tell you with absolute surety that you will be shunned, but I think it is a definite possibility.
Honestly, the pictures are a horror. I can hardly look at them. But I understand that art is subjective, and perhaps I would find the workmanship and "green"ness (since these are all basically roadkill) admirable. If I could get past the fact that this is a hair comb made out of the fucking head of a hamster, maybe I would. But honey, if you are wearing a dead hamster in your hair, you don't fall into the category of edgy. I think you move straight into revolting. Do Not Pass Go. Do Not Collect Two Hundred Dollars.
Looking for a gift for your honey? Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and Ms. Peppard says she has just the thing for you:
That's right... The Pigeon Foot Pendants that were promised so long ago have finally materialized!
Suffice to say it took a long time to make these little fuckers...
There are only 100 of these little beauties....Oh yeah: And they are an ABSOLUTE BARGAIN at 55 pounds!
Just an FYI--that is around $88 bucks. For dead pigeon's feet. On a chain. That you wear. And not for a Santeria ritual.
So, friends and readers, can you think of a SINGLE SITUATION in which any of these statement pieces would be appropriate? Would a dude who wore mousehead cufflinks be a dating dealbreaker for you? Do I lack a sense of humor entirely? Is that the problem?
Those with strong stomachs and/or morbid (in the truest sense of the word) curiosity can check out her work at http://reidpeppard.blogspot.com/.