I am looking at my calendar and trying to find a tiny space to add something to my already jam-packed Tuesday. It is possible I say this every year, but January is nuts! It seems like the house of cards that was December is flying to pieces now, and I am scrambling to reassemble. And a lot of it is major and crappy--the type of stuff that happens when you are over 40 and everything goes to shit. Seriously sick friend, friend with seriously sick parents, signing my fucking WILL (which is, of course, not as bad as those things, but STILL)...all loads of way-too-serious fun. Sigh.
But some really great things have happened this month, too. I feel like creating some mental sunshine on this slushy, Boston day, so I will share a few of the things that have made me happy. And then tell me 2010 isn't shaping up to be a good year!
THE BAND. This is a huge surprise, the best kind. I have a band again. It has been a long, long time since I had a fully functioning unit of fellow musicians who are ready to play. Two new people in the band, three stalwarts, and a monster NEW AMP and beautiful NEW GUITAR. I vowed that this year would be the year I started playing guitar at shows, that this would be the year I abandoned acoustic for electric, and this would be the year I would get mad and RAWK. And it is coming to pass. I feel musically rejuvenated and all kinds of creative. Don't underestimate what a humongous amp that has cool effects can do for the creativity. Ad my amp has tons of knobs. AND A PEDAL.
MY TINY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION is a total success. The above was not a resolution but a solemn vow to myself, one that can bring the full force of self-induced Jewish guilt, which I have in droves. No, the resolution is something I know will improve my metal state, but is not a killer if it doesn't happen. But it is. And it is MAKING THE BED EVERY DAY. Yes, that's it. Highly manageable. Small to the point of almost being silly. Here's the thing--it gives me a feeling that my life is more organized and controlled when I go upstairs and my bedroom looks like a lovely haven instead of the hovel of a crazed person who leapt out of bed, late yet again, running to get to work on time. It really does work for me. I recognize that this might be feeding into my OCD, and it is. But OCD is not all bad, For all of the 35 times I check for my keys before I leave the house, there is the part of me that now must make my bed, as well as making sure the pillows are arranged just so and looks like a vignette in a Pottery Barn catalogue. Yeah. So much better.
MY EGO at 43 got a little boost. I admit this is shallow and vain and all that, but it feels fucking GREAT. A certain stalwart has decided that, in order to remain with Sugar Snow, he needs to adopt an alias and photoshop Alec Baldwin into any band pictures taken henceforth. Why? Because his girlfriend is angry that he is in a band with another girl. His 26 YEAR OLD, GRAVITY UNAFFECTED, LINELESS girlfriend is threatened by me, 43 year old suburban mother of three. Yes, she is a ridiculously insecure youngster who is destined to drive him away with her foolishness, but all I can say is FUCK YEAH. Never even met the girl and she is afraid I have MILF-y designs on her beau. It couldn't be further from the truth, of course, not in any way does this resemble any reality anywhere.But FUCKING FUCK, it's AWESOME.
So, in short, I am a whammy bar using, bed making, boy conquering, amped up Brookline matron. Even with all the very, very serious and important shit happening all around me, I have this little island of amusement and happiness. There just isn't enough frothiness in life, and in the dead of Winter, I need my froth.