Monday, March 22, 2010

A Lovely Bouquet

The whole Vagina Preoccupation I seem to be having lately has gotten a fair number of comments. Without a doubt, my blog about Vajazzling caused a mini-uproar, with women asking "What the fuck?" and men asking "How can I get that job?". I found the whole concept utterly hilarious and was hoping someone, male or female, would volunteer to try it out and share their results. No one has, sadly. But my Vagina Preoccupation is merely a reflection on a larger, societal Vaginal Obsession, if you will. Why, just today, I came across two fantastic pussy-related subjects. One is a site called I Love My Vagina with poetry and fan letters to one's own ladyflower. Here is a lovely little piece that should be set to music:

I love my Vagina, it's been good to me.
Never had a problem, has worked with me to solve some of my own problems ;)

It's never been sick or tired and its always there lol

Oddly, if you take out the word vagina and put in the word "co-worker" it has a similar meaning, although far less interesting. This site is a laugh riot and not safe for work AT ALL. But if your late at night Zappos and Chatroulette isn't doing it for you, this may. I suspect it is a gateway site, however, to far more vivid sites describing self love, like Literotica.

But hold on to your hats, folks, because this is as bizarre as vending machines in Japan that sell preworn schoolgirl panties. There is now a perfume called Vulva. And it is not a perfume FOR your vulva, either. It is meant to smell like a...well...vagina. I swear to god. I honestly wish I made this up, and even more, I wish I had created this commercial. Again, NOT SAFE FOR WORK, but hilarious and icky.

It is, of course, possible that this is a joke. But so far, not a single vagina related thing I have shared is fake. The rehymenating blow-up doll, the vagina facial--all true. The thing that gets me is this. On one hand, one very shaky hand, I admit, women have been made to feel dirty about their scent, so this is a somewhat feminist step forward. HOWEVER, I really don't want to think of who is BUYING this perfume, because there is no need to buy it for a woman. Ever. For obvious reasons. Ugh, I am getting totally grossed out. And yet I am fascinated.

So I am trying to move on to find a less graphic subject, but it isn't easy.I am also trying to deal with my Diet Coke jones. You will all have to be patient. Rome wasn't built in a day.

I cannot get these links to light up, but in case you are interested, here they are: (Vulva Perfume)


  1. What, no one has volunteered a vajaja bedazzling? I have seen hundreds of them actually, they were obviously quite popular in the stripping industry.. funny they are now coming to main stream, they are so "out" in exotic dancer world these days, barring a few girls who can resist a diamond for her girly parts.
    When I was 19 and dancing I had a line of diamonds, one in my labret (under the lip), one in belly button, one in my hoohooo... and on the right angle...BLING BLING.... hahahaha! Gosh 19 year old me was ridiculous! Only have the belly button these days...Thanks for asking.
    And the whole ‘vagina’ scent perfume was in Japan also with me along with the “used school girls underwear vending machines”, as well as “scent of a white woman”... I kid you not. I assumed I was in a joke shop when I saw it... guess it was a porn shop, which doesn’t surprise me now looking back, everything in Japan is confusingly animated and cartoon like, even the gambling slot machines look like just a kid’s video game shop. Though, oddly, there is something a bit wonderful about stepping in to a city that feels like a kid’s fun house, beats Vegas hands down.

  2. Well, since you brought it up, it is true that women have been made to feel weird about their scent, which is utterly ridiculous.

    But from "experience" it seems like this feeling is pretty typical.

    Guys don't think the same way about it though. I don't think I'm alone is this. :)

    ps. The Cougar vs. MILF post is up. I revised it just now and added after your name: (Her original idea) I was rushing last night.

    Hope you get some visitors.

    Finally: Links are still not working. I'm happy to follow up on our conversation about this.