Sunday, April 5, 2009

When did fleece become sexy?

I posted a comment about fleece on my Facebook page last night after getting home from seeing Frit and the last Bill's Bar show EVER. And several "friends" have accused me of being intolerant of fleece and fleece wearers. Please, do allow me to explain.

The first thing I noticed, as I often do, is the relative age of bar patrons. That is, relative to me. An 18+ show, which this was, usually lowers the median age, but at this particular show, I was solidly in the Mom category. I sort of knew that would be the case--the boys in Frit are adorable, a few not even old enough to drink at their own show. And great musicians; their show was fantastic. As I sat at the bar, amused by the grinding of the teenage girls and the indiscriminate making-out all around me, I noticed the fleece.  Fleece. In a bar.

Now, I should state that I have no issue with fleece. It is warm. It is fuzzy. It comes in many lovely colors. It has many things to recommend it. But I am pretty sure that the L.L. Bean catalogue does not have a "fleece for bar-hopping" section. It is not sexy. It is not "hot". It is not revealing, cute or stylish. It is designed to be utilitarian, and it is. And thus, like Crocs, doesn't belong in a bar, where what you wear can get you laid. Or in the case of fleece, not. 

The girls were wearing their slutty finest--skinny jeans (a story for another day!), stilettos, loads of cleavage...and fleece. It boggles my mind that these girl have spent so much time putting together this look--a look which is debatably attractive, but whatever--and then top it off by running out of the house with their North Face fleece covered in cat hair. The excuse that fleece is warm does not fly, because not only was it not particularly cold last night, there are other, more fashionable fabrics, like wool, that are equally warm. Fur-wearers use warmth as an excuse, and no one buys it. And wearing six inch heels should automatically make one more worried about falling on one's face on Lansdowne Street in front of the hippies waiting to see Moe at the House of Blues than the outside temperature when one goes out to have a smoke.

Men--women can forgive many, many things in a man. That's why men can be bald, fat and mean and still get tail. But even the smelly hippie spillover from the aforementioned Moe show was preferable to the young man sitting near me with his red fleece shirt that zipped at the neck. You are in a BAR. With WOMEN. Wear a damn SHIRT! Show that you took five minutes to dress and groom yourself. You shouldn't be wearing what you wore to watch the MSU/UConn game at your buddy's before you came over. No, you shouldn't. No. Don't argue with me. I am pretty sure that if we went to Machine on a Friday night, we would not see even one gay man wearing fleece. Because they understand what you don't. Fleece is not attractive.

Being the New Wave/local music slut I was in the 80's, I wouldn't have dreamt of wearing a down jacket over my mini skirt/leggings,Doc Marten's ensemble. It is like wearing a parka over a Halloween costume. It ruins everything! Maybe fleece is in the category of Twitter--I just don't get it. But I will be sure to teach my children about the appropriate wearing of fleece. Sometimes old-fashioned is a better way to be. 

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